Sunday, October 3, 2010

Eye Contact

In my last post I shared a blog of which I was looking forward to reading more.  Unfortunately, I've had too much time to read because I've been stuck in bed with what actually may be strep throat AND the flu.  Big Sis and I were both on antibiotics for about six days when we ended up in bed with fevers and more.  Thank you to my husband for loaning me his new laptop because my trusty old  Apple is in a coma.  Now when I'm well drugged and conscious I can watch stuff and play games.  My husband thinks Gili is teething, but I think she misses me.  I've been trying not to share my germs and it's really hard not to snuggle her and kiss her all over when I'm near her.  As painful as teeth are, they are an exciting reminder that Gili is maturing, even if her motor or social skills don't reflect that.  She'll be 1 year old at the end of October!  Back to the blog... As any good blog (with human readers) does, it inspired me to comment, and I thought I might as well do it here.

I was very touched by the post about Elias's mom letting the boy hold his crutches because he called Elias his friend. Having two older kids, neither of which have always been on the ball, socially, I can say that hearing someone call your child there friend can be wonderful even if your child doesn't have any special difficulties.  I would use the Yiddish word "nachus" - a sort of filling up with pride you might feel upon seeing you children succeed.  I felt that for a special needs child this post was directly linked to an idea in the previous post on eye contact, where I commented:

"A few days ago my mother and I were discussing my baby. My biggest concern was her eyes and my mother's was that she should walk. Looking back, I realize she is still being my mother first. Her concern is that if she can't walk it will be harder on me. My argument is that it is difficult to form relationships without eye contact. I think I could handle pushing my daughter around in a wheel chair for years to come, but it's a little creepy when she looks at me like a cartoon crazy person with her beautiful blue googly eyes."

I feel that having friends or "friends" can be linked to eye contact. I think that if my daughters best "friends" are other girls who are only playing with her to do a good deed, she will still have more "friends" if she can hold eye contact and not look crazy.  It doesn't matter how much she has going on inside her mind and soul.  If the windows are foggy, no one will see in.

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